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HitScan
More portable than j00
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Joined: 01 Mar 2001
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Location: in.us
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 Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:51 am Post subject: Want to see an awful, awful movie? |
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I don't know how many of you have seen the old Superman movies, or who likes the comics, but even if you don't know who he is, it isn't hard to come near to tears when you read the article linked here: Holy shit Batman, it's a train wreck!
(One of the posters took the time to copy and paste the entire article, it's 4 posts, each of which has a "Read the rest of this comment" link. Bloody huge.)
Now I know for certain that I won't be dropping my duckets on that fucking bomb. That Peters clown needs to be removed from Hollywood, post haste. I don't believe that Uwe Boll could have made it worse, were he involved somehow.
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Riso
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 11:10 am Post subject: |
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That's hilarious.
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Jeremy Reimer
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| "Deciding to base the movie on the "death and return" story from the comic books (they figured that the big sales figures the story racked up would translate into box office success), WB turned the project over to their pet producer Jon Peters—an illiterate, violence-prone wild man (I wish I was making this up, but I’m not—this is all true, every word of it) who got his start as Barbra Streisand’s hairdresser/lover and produced the Tim Burton Batman films." |
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Jeremy Reimer
King of Canada
1st Lord of the Admiralty
Joined: 01 Aug 2002
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Location: 789-M
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| Peters then told Smith to have Brainiac fight polar bears at the Fortress of Solitude, demanding that the film be wall-to-wall action. Smith thought it was a stupid idea, so Peters said, "Then have Brainiac fight Superman’s bodyguards!" Smith responded, "Why the hell would Superman need bodyguards?" Peters wouldn’t let up, so Smith caved in and had Brainiac fight the polar bears. Then Peters demanded that Brainiac give Luthor a hostile space dog as a gift, arguing that the movie needed a cuddly Chewbacca character that could be turned into a toy. Then, after watching Chasing Amy, Peters liked the gay black character in the film so much that he ordered Smith to make Brainiac’s robot servant L-Ron gay, asserting that the film needed a gay R2-D2 with attitude. Then Peters demanded that Superman fight a huge spider at the end of the film, which Smith refused to do—he used a "Thanagarian Snare Beast" instead. (However, Peters did manage to recycle his spider idea and use it in Wild Wild West.) |
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"Those afraid of the universe as it really is, those who pretend to nonexistent knowledge and envision a Cosmos centered on human beings will prefer the fleeting comforts of superstition. They avoid rather than confront the world. But those with the courage to explore the weave and structure of the Cosmos, even where it differs profoundly from their wishes and prejudices, will penetrate its deepest mysteries."
-- Carl Sagan
"Its not a rule. Its just something I noticed. Several of us have more than one sig." - Mord
"No, you are a troll, and I should have never let you back to Ars in after the first 16,000 bannings." - Caesar, to He Who Shall Not Be Named
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HitScan
More portable than j00
Rear Admiral
Joined: 01 Mar 2001
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Location: in.us
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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I know. The only good thing that came of the entire ordeal is another hilarious segment of "A Night With Kevin Smith" which I dearly want to possess.
_________________
My mind's slacking process has real-time priority.
A kernel is only as strong as its weakest Interrupt Service Routine.
"I was going to write my congressman, but I can't find my checkbook." - /. poster
"Wiffleball bats are good, because they can be retrofitted with lead pipes." - Harbinger
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FondueDaredevil
Linux Looney
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Joined: 12 Jul 2002
Posts: 5381
Location: My name is Elmer J Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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| HitScan wrote: |
| I know. The only good thing that came of the entire ordeal is another hilarious segment of "A Night With Kevin Smith" which I dearly want to possess. |
I knew I should have rented that ...
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Supervillains for Linux!
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OscarWilde
Unbearable Bliss of Ignorance
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Joined: 02 Mar 2001
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Location: Somewhere that seems to be no where
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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How much of this is true? It seems so far fetched some of the ideas. Lord, I hope they don't spoil the Superman myth. The original movie series went down the toobs because of greed from the producers (which does get mentioned in the article). So part of me is not surprised at all. Damn bastards! 
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DuffMan
Captain
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Posts: 1883
Location: In mah pants!
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348150/
looks like they scrapped everything and started over
Kate Bosworth, yummy
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HitScan
More portable than j00
Rear Admiral
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| Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 6:36 am Post subject: |
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| DuffMan wrote: |
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348150/
looks like they scrapped everything and started over
Kate Bosworth, yummy |
| IMDB wrote: |
| Marlon Brando .... Jor-El (archive footage) |
This doesn't inspire much confidence.
"Ah'm ghonna mahke yhou and offa yhou cahn't refyuse, KAL-EL, MY SON."
_________________
My mind's slacking process has real-time priority.
A kernel is only as strong as its weakest Interrupt Service Routine.
"I was going to write my congressman, but I can't find my checkbook." - /. poster
"Wiffleball bats are good, because they can be retrofitted with lead pipes." - Harbinger
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Riso
Commodore
Joined: 28 Feb 2001
Posts: 3019
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| Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:20 am Post subject: |
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The archive footage is from Superman 2, and the movie itself plays after 2 as well, pretending 3+4 were never made.
I can understand why.
_________________
Miss Congeniality
"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways Lord Reimer, your sad devotion to that ancient OS have not helped you conjure up the Guru Meditation or given you clarvoyance enough to find 1% marketshare"
- FondueDaredevil
"[...] we view customers as complete morons that will never catch on and [...] we're lying to them all the time."
- Gabe Newell |
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OscarWilde
Unbearable Bliss of Ignorance
Vice Admiral
Joined: 02 Mar 2001
Posts: 9449
Location: Somewhere that seems to be no where
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| Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:38 am Post subject: |
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| HitScan wrote: |
| DuffMan wrote: |
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348150/
looks like they scrapped everything and started over
Kate Bosworth, yummy |
| IMDB wrote: |
| Marlon Brando .... Jor-El (archive footage) |
This doesn't inspire much confidence.
"Ah'm ghonna mahke yhou and offa yhou cahn't refyuse, KAL-EL, MY SON."
|
Wasn't Marlon Brando Jor-El in the original movies already?
_________________
'An urban myth. Like the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa.' - Robert Rankin (Raiders of the Lost Car Park)
'Hate traps us by binding us too tightly to our adversary.' - Milan Kundera (Immortality)
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HitScan
More portable than j00
Rear Admiral
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Posts: 5698
Location: in.us
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| Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 11:57 am Post subject: |
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Well, yes, according to Riso.
In my defense, I don't know that I have actually watched either of the first two all the way through. Also, my idea was much funnier. 
Also, I can definately see why they'd want to ignore 3 + 4, much like the Highlander movies forgot all about 2. (Shame they didn't forget about it before it was made. Woof.)
_________________
My mind's slacking process has real-time priority.
A kernel is only as strong as its weakest Interrupt Service Routine.
"I was going to write my congressman, but I can't find my checkbook." - /. poster
"Wiffleball bats are good, because they can be retrofitted with lead pipes." - Harbinger
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Jay
Ex OSYer
Captain
Joined: 09 May 2003
Posts: 1589
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| Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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| HitScan wrote: |
| Well, yes, according to IMDB. |
TFTFY 
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