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Want to see an awful, awful movie?

 
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HitScan
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:51 am    Post subject: Want to see an awful, awful movie? Reply with quote

I don't know how many of you have seen the old Superman movies, or who likes the comics, but even if you don't know who he is, it isn't hard to come near to tears when you read the article linked here: Holy shit Batman, it's a train wreck!

(One of the posters took the time to copy and paste the entire article, it's 4 posts, each of which has a "Read the rest of this comment" link. Bloody huge.)

Now I know for certain that I won't be dropping my duckets on that fucking bomb. That Peters clown needs to be removed from Hollywood, post haste. I don't believe that Uwe Boll could have made it worse, were he involved somehow.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 11:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's hilarious.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
"Deciding to base the movie on the "death and return" story from the comic books (they figured that the big sales figures the story racked up would translate into box office success), WB turned the project over to their pet producer Jon Peters—an illiterate, violence-prone wild man (I wish I was making this up, but I’m not—this is all true, every word of it) who got his start as Barbra Streisand’s hairdresser/lover and produced the Tim Burton Batman films."


Big Eek
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Peters then told Smith to have Brainiac fight polar bears at the Fortress of Solitude, demanding that the film be wall-to-wall action. Smith thought it was a stupid idea, so Peters said, "Then have Brainiac fight Superman’s bodyguards!" Smith responded, "Why the hell would Superman need bodyguards?" Peters wouldn’t let up, so Smith caved in and had Brainiac fight the polar bears. Then Peters demanded that Brainiac give Luthor a hostile space dog as a gift, arguing that the movie needed a cuddly Chewbacca character that could be turned into a toy. Then, after watching Chasing Amy, Peters liked the gay black character in the film so much that he ordered Smith to make Brainiac’s robot servant L-Ron gay, asserting that the film needed a gay R2-D2 with attitude. Then Peters demanded that Superman fight a huge spider at the end of the film, which Smith refused to do—he used a "Thanagarian Snare Beast" instead. (However, Peters did manage to recycle his spider idea and use it in Wild Wild West.)


Big Eek Big Eek Big Eek Big Eek Big Eek
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know. The only good thing that came of the entire ordeal is another hilarious segment of "A Night With Kevin Smith" which I dearly want to possess.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HitScan wrote:
I know. The only good thing that came of the entire ordeal is another hilarious segment of "A Night With Kevin Smith" which I dearly want to possess.
I knew I should have rented that ...
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How much of this is true? It seems so far fetched some of the ideas. Lord, I hope they don't spoil the Superman myth. The original movie series went down the toobs because of greed from the producers (which does get mentioned in the article). So part of me is not surprised at all. Damn bastards! Mad
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348150/

looks like they scrapped everything and started over

Kate Bosworth, yummy
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 6:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DuffMan wrote:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348150/

looks like they scrapped everything and started over

Kate Bosworth, yummy


IMDB wrote:
Marlon Brando .... Jor-El (archive footage)

This doesn't inspire much confidence.

"Ah'm ghonna mahke yhou and offa yhou cahn't refyuse, KAL-EL, MY SON."
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The archive footage is from Superman 2, and the movie itself plays after 2 as well, pretending 3+4 were never made.

I can understand why.
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HitScan wrote:
DuffMan wrote:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348150/

looks like they scrapped everything and started over

Kate Bosworth, yummy


IMDB wrote:
Marlon Brando .... Jor-El (archive footage)

This doesn't inspire much confidence.

"Ah'm ghonna mahke yhou and offa yhou cahn't refyuse, KAL-EL, MY SON."


Wasn't Marlon Brando Jor-El in the original movies already?
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 11:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, yes, according to Riso.

In my defense, I don't know that I have actually watched either of the first two all the way through. Also, my idea was much funnier. Razz

Also, I can definately see why they'd want to ignore 3 + 4, much like the Highlander movies forgot all about 2. (Shame they didn't forget about it before it was made. Woof.)
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 5:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HitScan wrote:
Well, yes, according to IMDB.

TFTFY Very Happy
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