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Jeremy Reimer
King of Canada
1st Lord of the Admiralty
Joined: 01 Aug 2002
Posts: 7833
Location: 789-M
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 Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:04 am Post subject: An email from APK |
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For those of you who don't know who APK is, he's a rather completely insane person who registered on ars a few years back, tried to spam his worthless do-nothing utility shareware junk, got roundly thrashed, and then started lashing out at anyone he could get his hands on (at one point, he was convinced that I was MWNH, and he thought that I had "stolen" his software, that's an example of how loopy things got. And of course he registered as APK on OSY, got banned, registered again as APK1, got banned again, I emailed Road Runner (his current ISP) about his email abuse, and then things sort of stopped.
THREE AND A HALF YEARS LATER, I get this in my mailbox:
| Quote: |
From: APK
Sent: Monday, December 06, 2004 3:06 AM
Subject: Remove this page from your forums due to myself being impersonated there, thank you... apk
https://pegasus3d.com/cgi-bin/ikonboard/topic.cgi?forum=1&topic=10
I did not post that, & it's criminal impersonation, which carries legal implications.
(Thank you for your cooperation, and I am sure you do NOT want that kind of thing on your forums!)
Sincerely,
Alexander Peter Kowalski
apk
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Okay, that is a nearly four year old forum post he's complaining about. And apparently he's forgotten the whole exchange where he was banned from OSY, and he's forgotten about how he thought I was MWNH, and so forth. So I decided to have a little fun with him. If he's complaining about someone "impersonating" him, that opens up a whole neat metaphysical area for jokes at his expense.
I reply back:
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How do I know you're the real APK and not an impostor?
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About half an hour later, he replies:
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Check my email @ www.ntcompatible.com if you wish, I post there as AlecStaar.
(Thank-You!)
Sincerely,
Alexander Peter Kowalski
apk
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So, clearly, it's the real APK. But is this any kind of proof of that? And where's the proof that the APK on OSY 1.0 wasn't the real APK? And who would care anyway?
So let's see if I can't have some fun here. I'll start out all polite:
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Hello,
I have found this "AlecStaar" poster on www.ntcompatible.com that you are talking about, but I have two problems: 1) There is no email address listed so I have no way to correlate "AlecStaar" with , and 2) There is no proof that "AlecStaar" is in fact the real APK!
You can see my dilemma. What if this is merely a ruse by an APK impostor to try and get people to delete APK's messages, perhaps all over the web? I can't be a party to such an event!
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Within 15 minutes came the reply:
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Well, ask anybody there if you wish... That's easily done. Many of them know who I am, & also what my email is.
Perhaps, the best/easiest way to check that is to write the webmaster there:
He & I often correspond & can verify who I am & what my email is.
Thanks!
APK
P.S.=> Whatever the case may be, my attorney's being forwarded this information just so you are aware of that as well. He is on retainer each year, & I get my money's worth from him each year for said retainer... he is advising me to advise you of this, & also what this is about, etc. apk
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Oh noes! He's got a virtual lawyer on virtual retainer! And he's advising me to advise me of this! What to do????
The only way to beat virtual lawyers is, of course, with virtual lawyers:
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Well, the question then becomes, how do the fine people at www.ntcompatible.com know that you are the true APK? Perhaps your account history there has been an elaborate ruse, designed to build up a trust which you can then use to deceive people all over the web in order to get them to delete messages from the true APK! I've read up on stories of identity theft and this is in fact a more common occurance than you would think!
As you have mentioned that you are forwarding this information to your attorney, I must also provide equal disclosure on my part. After all it is only fair! I have forwarded this complete exchange to my own legal team, and they have come up with a few possible ideas to get out of this dilemma. If you could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are the real APK, it might help things along. One suggestion is that you attach, using your current email address, a signed photo (perhaps a driver's license?) and birth certificate for authentication. A legally notorized document containing your current address would also go very far in ending this riddle!
I know that's a lot to ask but you must agree with me that one can't be too careful in matters of this nature!
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Forget one lawyer, I have a whole legal *team*! I thought the request for a drivers license and birth certificate would scare him a bit, but figured he would see through this as being an obviously fake request. Why would he bother giving me any of this stuff?
20 minutes later, comes the reply:
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Write the forums master there @ NTCompatible.com then. Have you done so?
He can substantiate who I am, so it's your choice.
I also now have been advised to contact you via the U.S. mail @ this point as well to serve papers/summons etc. since you are unwilling to comply with a series of simple requests.
Failure to do so (and you can check with your attorney on this) can result in aiding & abetting this crime & result unfortunately in your being an accessory after the fact, especially since you made no effort to verify my identity @ this point...
My mailing address is as follows should your people wish to contact me:
Mr. Alexander Peter Kowalski
903 East Division Street
Syracuse, N.Y. 13208
I am willing to help your folks, but if you are unwilling to help mine? It is up to you.
Remember:
This is criminal impersonation, a Class 6 Felony.
Across state lines (you are in california, correct, out of this "SHAW" internet provider?) it compounds it further...
Sincerely,
Alexander Peter Kowalski
apk
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Now this is hilarious. A Class 6 Felony! Impersonation! On an Internet messageboard using a pseudonym!
But the really hilarious thing is that he thinks I'm in California. OH NOES IT'S ACROSS STATE LINES THAT'S EVEN *WORSE*!!! I'M IN SUPER DOOPER TROUBLE NOW!
But, on the other hand, he did give me his postal address. Kind of a shocker there. Maybe I should send him a Christmas card?
I write back almost immediately:
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Ah, but you see, contacting the forum administrator at NT Compatible would do me no good! Because as I have explained, he would be unable to prove your true identity any more than I would! My lawyers have strongly cautioned me not to do this.
On your advice, I have consulted my legal team re: my legal obligations at this point in time. They assure me that the burden of proof lies with the claimant, not the defender. This is explained in more detail in the Felony Code, Section 12, Subsection 43, Paragraph Eight. Furthermore, the charge of "aiding and abetting" must be substantiated via Section 37, Subsection 43, Paragraph Nine, where it clearly states that "...aiding and abetting must be proven, vis a vie, by the claimant previously referenced in Article 24, whereupon the onus of the charge must first be substantiated clearly through the element of proof of identity..." The section goes on a little bit after that, but you get the idea.
My legal team would also like to ask why you are hesitant to provide the asked-for proof of your own identity which I referenced in my last email?
Much obliged,
Jeremy Reimer
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Now, I figure, I'm really going over the top here, he has to call me on the Felony Code stuff. Section 37, Subsection 43, Paragraph Nine? Maybe I've gone too far with the satire here.
He replies!
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Suit yourself.
The only proof I can offer is my true address which I supplied to you. What more do you need?
If you wish not to provide one, let me speak directly with your attorneys.
Provide me their names & numbers & I will call them today & I will verity my name/identity to them directly to resolve this matter..
Thank you,
Sincerely,
Alexander Peter Kowalski
apk
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Oh noes! He want to call my lawyers! TODAY! Right this very day!
I briefly considered sending him my virtual lawyer's virtual contact information. But would he keep emailing after that?
Instead I send this message:
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The street address, while helpful, is not a proof of identity. After all, anyone can create a Hotmail account, and anyone can use a phonebook or other similar device to find out a street address! Many an identity thief has done just that!
My lawyers have considered your offer but must, reluctantly, refuse. As you can imagine (being well versed in legal matters as you are) it would be improper for the claimant to contact my lawyers directly. This would be an unfair balance of representation! Due to the legal code of ethics, they must communicate only with your lawyers. This they have agreed to do providing you first give your legal team's contact information (names, firm, phone number, etc)
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Now, I'm clearly pulling stuff out of my ass here. Please, call me on the "legal code of ethics". Just call me on it. Let the madness stop!
12 minutes later, a reply:
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No problem, expect a summons etc, or whatever it is they do on their end of things, I just do the computer legwork.
Oh, one last question -
Your ISP/BSP is SHAW, or is it @Home? I see you have emails on both.
Information - This is to be used to identify yourself to my attorney for the costs of the identity search for the purposes of serving up the necessary legal instruments to you directly if you refuse to provide your attorney's names.
If not, then it's a matter of searching WHOIS type pages on the net, or using a "PI" apparently. Telling you this up front.
Don't provide this information? Well, again, that's up to you. The costs of this are in my retainer agreement.
Sincerely,
Alexander Peter Kowalski
apk
P.S.=> Shouldn't take too long, Shaw internet can verify your address for us I imagine OR @HOME can, as I see you have emails on both. I don't know WHY you are resisting this, but it's up to you, see you in court... you've done nothing wrong right? So you have nothing to worry about, other than resisting a simple request to remove that information. I am not sure if you will get caught up in charges or not, but that is up to you purely... apk
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No problem! His people are going to contact my people! Er, except I haven't given him an address for my people, nor has he given me an address for his people (or his person, the lawyer on retainer) So how are they expected to give the summons?
But I'm sneaky! I have TWO email addresses! This will outsmart even the superdooper smart APK! And the @home one... particularly brilliant on my part, how I manage to email from a defunct domain name from a corporation that went bankrupt three years ago! I'm fiendishly complicated that way!
But what... what if he does a WHOIS on me??? I could end up in COURT! Oh noes!
I decide to change my approach slightly:
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My lawyers have informed me that without the name of your legal representation, they cannot contact anyone, and no progress can be made. Why are you stonewalling on this? I thought you *wanted* to see this happen? Are you just wasting my time? I am starting to believe that you are not the real APK, but merely an impostor pretending to be him.
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Quickly comes the response:
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I don't see the dilemna of this @ all, neither does my representation. We asked for your contact info. first or theirs first, you refuse to disclose it.
That's aiding & abetting as well as obstructing justice I imagine, but the rest is up to my representation, as they are the experts in this type of matter.
The criminal impersonation felony charge is not in question: That I know now is definite, & just a matter of who to pin it to. That just takes some time is all.
The costs of the investigation are already covered in my retainer, I am only doing as I am instructed @ this point. Your refusal to cooperate is your own prerogative as well as your counsel's...
Have a nice day.
Sincerely,
Alexander Peter Kowalski
apk
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Oh snap! He's used the "I asked you first" ironclad legal strategy! How can I win now? The costs are covered in his retainer! And his retainer is kept by his bedside in a small plastic jar!
And now I'm aiding and abetting AND obstructing Justice! I have become a supercriminal without even knowing it!
My reply:
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No, you see the matter is rather more complicated than that.
You asked for my legal team's contact info *in order to contact them directly*. My lawyers pointed out that this violates the legal code of ethics. The claimant must provide the name and contact info of their lawyer *first*, then and only then can my legal team respond.
You are the claimant; therefore you must provide the information.
But then again I don't really believe you are who you say you are. It's the only way to explain your lack of disclosure.
Good day, person pretending to be APK!
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AHA! I'll see your "I asked you first" legal strategy and raise you a "my lawyers say YOU have to go first!" one! HAHA! I've run circles around you logically! And notice I sneak in the legal code of ethics again. My ace in the hole!
Here comes the response, right on cue:
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Addendum:
No (what was it you called it?) "stonewalling" on my end! I want to proceed with this shortly and am offering you voluntary compliance is all. What happens after that? It's on your head.
To help verify my identity, yet again from my end, My programs I wrote here @ this URL in their current builds can aid in verifying my true Identity:
http://www.ntcompatible.com/thread27593-1.html
That leaves little doubt @ this point as to who I am I imagine.
I wrote them, they are at the site you could have asked folks who I am (such as their webmaster etc. or others there that know me).Much of the content there in the zipfiles has my name & address here, just as I volunteered to you via email in our correspondences & exactly the same to help verify my true identity.
The ReadMe Text does I believe contain my address information as well, but the programs do for sure in their HELP, About boxes.
(Example - No need to install the entire toolset, it is a zipfile & the "APK Multimedia AlarmClock 2002++" contains the same information I sent to you in email regarding my home address for contact by your counsel if need be in the 6 small zipfiles.)
If you choose (or your counsel) not to verify this, again, it is up to you purely.
I have been advised to quit emailing as it is not getting anywhere with your volunteering to remove that information & apparently, now you are involved.
Ask your counsel on this last statement as to what a lack of cooperation for simple information can do on your end unfortunately.
Have a good day.
APK
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Indeed, that thread leaves little doubt as to who he is. And what he is. I'd suggest reading it if you really want a laugh.
But no! His virtual lawyer on retainer has advised him to stop emailing me! Just as it was getting fun! I decide to leave him with one last thought to chew on:
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Anyone could link to a bunch of programs, including someone pretending to be the real APK. Which you clearly are.
I'm going to email the real APK right now and tell him you're doing this. He'll sue you for sure!
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Wrap your head around that, you loonie!
As of yet I have not had a response to this last email. If I do, however, I'll let you know.
_________________
"Those afraid of the universe as it really is, those who pretend to nonexistent knowledge and envision a Cosmos centered on human beings will prefer the fleeting comforts of superstition. They avoid rather than confront the world. But those with the courage to explore the weave and structure of the Cosmos, even where it differs profoundly from their wishes and prejudices, will penetrate its deepest mysteries."
-- Carl Sagan
"Its not a rule. Its just something I noticed. Several of us have more than one sig." - Mord
"No, you are a troll, and I should have never let you back to Ars in after the first 16,000 bannings." - Caesar, to He Who Shall Not Be Named
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casper the friendly ghost
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 479
Location: New Hampshire
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:18 am Post subject: |
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_________________
"No wonder my back hurts; there's a damn novel written there." TNO, Planescape: Torment |
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Riso
Commodore
Joined: 28 Feb 2001
Posts: 3019
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:18 am Post subject: |
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Oh. My. God. I'm laughing so hard it's a wonder if I will be able to stop!
_________________
Miss Congeniality
"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways Lord Reimer, your sad devotion to that ancient OS have not helped you conjure up the Guru Meditation or given you clarvoyance enough to find 1% marketshare"
- FondueDaredevil
"[...] we view customers as complete morons that will never catch on and [...] we're lying to them all the time."
- Gabe Newell |
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Riso
Commodore
Joined: 28 Feb 2001
Posts: 3019
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:22 am Post subject: |
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In fact, I was laughing so hard I forgot the Pizza I had in the oven!
_________________
Miss Congeniality
"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways Lord Reimer, your sad devotion to that ancient OS have not helped you conjure up the Guru Meditation or given you clarvoyance enough to find 1% marketshare"
- FondueDaredevil
"[...] we view customers as complete morons that will never catch on and [...] we're lying to them all the time."
- Gabe Newell |
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FondueDaredevil
Linux Looney
Rear Admiral
Joined: 12 Jul 2002
Posts: 5381
Location: My name is Elmer J Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:51 am Post subject: |
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| Riso wrote: |
| Oh. My. God. I'm laughing so hard it's a wonder if I will be able to stop! |
I've been hopping from foot to foot because I have to hit the head but the email exchange was too funny to just leave off!
APK is grade-A loonie material. Nice to see he's still around, though; it's like all of the older loonies have retired!
I miss Alexander Abian ....
_________________
"Our products just aren't engineered for security."
- Brian Valentine, Senior VP in charge of MS Windows Development
"I call on those who question the motives of the president and his national security advisers to join with the rest of America in presenting a united front to our enemies abroad." Sen. Dick Durbin, 1998
"There's no set architecture in Linux. All roads lead to madness" - William Hilf, Microsoft homonculous
Supervillains for Linux!
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Jeremy Reimer
King of Canada
1st Lord of the Admiralty
Joined: 01 Aug 2002
Posts: 7833
Location: 789-M
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:11 pm Post subject: |
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An update! An update!
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You'd only be emailing me. Apparently, you did not email anyone I told you that you could, including another webmaster & didn't check out that link URL that has my email in it if I recall correctly on the first page, as well as my programs having my address info. in them as well.
My attorney is being faxed all of this (after I send it your way now that is) & agrees that you are acting terribly resistant to such a simple request & that you are definitely also wrong on a few legal issues:
According to N.Y. State Law? Whoever did this, once they are spotted and zeroed in on & you are forced to divulge whatever information there is from your site & once your ISP/BSP complies as well, is in trouble.
The Federal laws she will work on @ this point because this crosses state lines: She assures me criminal impersonation is a felony, & also that whoever is responsible is also going to face libel charges also because this is definitely a case of it.
I am politely but meaningfully asking this - Do not email me anymore @ this point, you'll probably be served in a short time directly since you would not provide any information regarding your attorney's names upon my request..
Thank-You!
APK
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Oh noes! He's found out that I didn't email the webmaster at NTcompatible! How could he have been so deviously clever?
I like the fact that he is "politely but meaningfully" asking me not to email him anymore. Maybe he's getting tired of crazy kooky emails filling up his inbox? I THINK SO!
So I sent him this:
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No, I have the real APK's email address. You're just a fake impostor. I have all the proof I need of this now. You said that your lawyer had advised you not to email me anymore... BUT YOU DID! That just proves that you aren't the real APK. The real APK is far too smart to ignore advice from his own lawyer.
Jeremy Reimer
ps. the real APK and I had quite a chuckle over this whole thing
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_________________
"Those afraid of the universe as it really is, those who pretend to nonexistent knowledge and envision a Cosmos centered on human beings will prefer the fleeting comforts of superstition. They avoid rather than confront the world. But those with the courage to explore the weave and structure of the Cosmos, even where it differs profoundly from their wishes and prejudices, will penetrate its deepest mysteries."
-- Carl Sagan
"Its not a rule. Its just something I noticed. Several of us have more than one sig." - Mord
"No, you are a troll, and I should have never let you back to Ars in after the first 16,000 bannings." - Caesar, to He Who Shall Not Be Named
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DuffMan
Captain
Joined: 25 Feb 2001
Posts: 1883
Location: In mah pants!
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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Comedy gold.
_________________
Roight. |
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PaoloM
The King Of Crap
Captain
Joined: 26 Feb 2001
Posts: 1706
Location: Up, up, up... there.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:31 pm Post subject: |
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Ahahaha!
I hope he's reading this 
 Hi AlexanderPeterKowalskyAlect§arrAPK!
_________________
This is not a signature
Last edited by PaoloM on Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:33 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Imitation Gruel
Flames of Destruction
Rear Admiral
Joined: 26 Feb 2001
Posts: 6781
Location: Tokyo, in the eleventh year of Meiji
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:33 pm Post subject: |
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I'm practically shaking with laughter. Forget gold; this is like comedy ultra platinum.
_________________
"To make interesting an otherwise boring world" -- a never-completed poem left behind by Japanese historical figure Takasugi Shinsaku
"How delightful it would be to converse intimately with someone of the same mind, sharing with him the pleasures of uninhibited conversation on the amusing and foolish things of this world, but such friends are hard to find." -- Kenko Yoshida, Essays In Idleness |
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DuffMan
Captain
Joined: 25 Feb 2001
Posts: 1883
Location: In mah pants!
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:34 pm Post subject: |
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Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if the guy really did have some sort of multiple personality disorder.
He could sue himself for impresonation of himself.
_________________
Roight. |
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Imitation Gruel
Flames of Destruction
Rear Admiral
Joined: 26 Feb 2001
Posts: 6781
Location: Tokyo, in the eleventh year of Meiji
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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For anyone who doesn't know or doesn't remember, APK got banned from OSY because he inlined some absolutely disgusting photographs.
Actually, that's not quite accurate. He did it once, got banned, re-registered, posted an *even worse* photo, and got banned again, quite justifiably.
_________________
"To make interesting an otherwise boring world" -- a never-completed poem left behind by Japanese historical figure Takasugi Shinsaku
"How delightful it would be to converse intimately with someone of the same mind, sharing with him the pleasures of uninhibited conversation on the amusing and foolish things of this world, but such friends are hard to find." -- Kenko Yoshida, Essays In Idleness |
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MasterOfTheHat
Commander
Joined: 11 Aug 2004
Posts: 794
Location: In a galaxy far, far, far, far, really really far away...
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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so his lawyer is his mom, eh? roight...
_________________
For my fellow OSYers - You know you're addicted to programming when:"The people you respect most you have never physically seen or spoken to, but you always bow to their knowledge."
*Quantum physics texts are an excellent source of 100% of the recommended daily alowance of "WTF!?!" - HitScan
support.microsoft's cause for a 0x0000007f STOP error:
"• Your computer has hardware or software problems. "
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FondueDaredevil
Linux Looney
Rear Admiral
Joined: 12 Jul 2002
Posts: 5381
Location: My name is Elmer J Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 1:03 pm Post subject: |
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| MasterOfTheHat wrote: |
| so his lawyer is his mom, eh? roight... |
... and the photos were of himself ...
_________________
"Our products just aren't engineered for security."
- Brian Valentine, Senior VP in charge of MS Windows Development
"I call on those who question the motives of the president and his national security advisers to join with the rest of America in presenting a united front to our enemies abroad." Sen. Dick Durbin, 1998
"There's no set architecture in Linux. All roads lead to madness" - William Hilf, Microsoft homonculous
Supervillains for Linux!
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the twinkster
Gorram Alliance
Captain
Joined: 05 Jun 2003
Posts: 2169
Location: Varies within Canada
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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_________________
As time stretches on here at OSY Extreme, everyone will eventually have quotes in their sig from the other members. – Mord
Damn, after this and some of my other relationship salvations, I really have a huuuuge stockpile of date karma. Like stumbling into a professional dominatrix at a bookstore at the science fiction section while reaching for the same book kind of karma. -- Happysin, on Ars |
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AP.K.
Midshipman
Joined: 06 Dec 2004
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 2:04 pm Post subject: |
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Good Day Sir,
My Name is Apfelsaft Kirschwasser from the Kirschwassers auf Vaduz, Liechtenstein. My Familie makes the World Famous Kirschwasser liquoeur, but I am a Worker in the Software Industrie.
I was led to this Forum to hear how an Individual is missnaming my Acronym (APK) erst I have used it from 1995. I have the Proofs that I own the APK Acronym registered at the Liechteinsteiner Patentamt Büro as a unique on line Moniker. Given that my Country is a Member in Gut Standing of the World Trading Organiziert, Patent registrations are valid Worldwide (including the State of New York).
I demand to be refunded and, to such End, I am instrukting my Lawyers to contact the Administrator of this Forum. The amount of Euros will be defined in a later time by the Internationales Gericht in Den Haag, Netherlands.
Regards, Apfelsaft Kirschwasser |
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Jeremy Reimer
King of Canada
1st Lord of the Admiralty
Joined: 01 Aug 2002
Posts: 7833
Location: 789-M
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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_________________
"Those afraid of the universe as it really is, those who pretend to nonexistent knowledge and envision a Cosmos centered on human beings will prefer the fleeting comforts of superstition. They avoid rather than confront the world. But those with the courage to explore the weave and structure of the Cosmos, even where it differs profoundly from their wishes and prejudices, will penetrate its deepest mysteries."
-- Carl Sagan
"Its not a rule. Its just something I noticed. Several of us have more than one sig." - Mord
"No, you are a troll, and I should have never let you back to Ars in after the first 16,000 bannings." - Caesar, to He Who Shall Not Be Named
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jdsmith575
I drank the Kool-Aid
Commodore
Joined: 20 May 2002
Posts: 3000
Location: San Antonio, TX
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 2:13 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think he's kidding JR. You better watch out.
_________________
I use a Mac because I'm just better than you are.
"I can tell that you're a renaissance man... and by that I mean a sissy." - Scott Adams
"Gold Bond works wonders though, it's like 1000 fairies blowing on your nuts." - Short Bus Driver
"I learned something really important in college today. I don't want to be there." - King of the Hill |
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AllYorBaseRBelong2Us
Infernal Smam Lord
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 Feb 2001
Posts: 9707
Location: Gaurding the toenail clipper bag that holds you all!
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 2:19 pm Post subject: |
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The Mighty AYB thinks this is all very meh.
The problems for his "legal council" is this:
1) prove it's him being impersonated.
2) show how administration is liable for that message
3) make somebody in Canuckistan give a rip
The other problem is that if he really has a lawyer, he can use bullyboy tactics to get what he wants. Of course, he'd have to get a lawyer in Canada, so.....
Even if the smammy server was in California, the most he could possibly get out of it is a takedown order, AYB thinks (then he'd probably sue you again after compliance because you didn't clear out his browser cache for him). So yes, he's blowing a crapload of hot air about "Felony impersonation". He'd have to get a BC DA to sign off on the deal (if it's even remotely an applicable law in your venue), which would be completely insane.
The biggest danger of all this is perhaps if he contacts shaw and gets them excited somehow with this broken legalese.
_________________
This and other statistics can be culled from Jeremy Reimer's Personal Computer Market Share: 1975-2002, a very impressive piece of information gathering. The numbers tell some very interesting stories.
- http://lowendmac.com/musings/03/0131.html
Man, I need to get out more. You know smam is getting to you when you go to a canadian restaurant and start wondering about moose cock. -OscarWilde |
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AllYorBaseRBelong2Us
Infernal Smam Lord
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 Feb 2001
Posts: 9707
Location: Gaurding the toenail clipper bag that holds you all!
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 2:21 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, furthurmore, how is the name "APK" constitute any sort of impersonation even if it really wasn't whoever he claims to be?
_________________
This and other statistics can be culled from Jeremy Reimer's Personal Computer Market Share: 1975-2002, a very impressive piece of information gathering. The numbers tell some very interesting stories.
- http://lowendmac.com/musings/03/0131.html
Man, I need to get out more. You know smam is getting to you when you go to a canadian restaurant and start wondering about moose cock. -OscarWilde |
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Rave
Petty Officer 2nd class
Joined: 01 Mar 2001
Posts: 62
Location: Buffalo
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 2:24 pm Post subject: |
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| That is one of the funniest things I have ever read on the intarweb. |
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Jeremy Reimer
King of Canada
1st Lord of the Admiralty
Joined: 01 Aug 2002
Posts: 7833
Location: 789-M
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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Another message!
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The real APK & yourself had a chuckle over this eh? Boy, you are in for one heck of a surprise soon is all I can say.
APK
P.S.=> You'll be hearing from my attorneys shortly... DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN! apk
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I'm getting a little tired of this now, so I thought I'd go full out silly:
| Quote: |
No, I think it is you who are in a big surprise when you discover that *you* are not the real APK!
The real APK lives in our hearts, and our dreams.
Why would you not want me to email you any more? Don't you like me?
By the way, when are these lawyers of yours going to get off their asses and DO SOMETHING? They don't seem to be working very hard for you. You should consider switching legal counsel. I could recommend the firm I use, perhaps they would be able to provide you with better service?
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"Those afraid of the universe as it really is, those who pretend to nonexistent knowledge and envision a Cosmos centered on human beings will prefer the fleeting comforts of superstition. They avoid rather than confront the world. But those with the courage to explore the weave and structure of the Cosmos, even where it differs profoundly from their wishes and prejudices, will penetrate its deepest mysteries."
-- Carl Sagan
"Its not a rule. Its just something I noticed. Several of us have more than one sig." - Mord
"No, you are a troll, and I should have never let you back to Ars in after the first 16,000 bannings." - Caesar, to He Who Shall Not Be Named
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AlphaMeridian
Gatekeeper of the Beginner Internet
Commander
Joined: 03 Jan 2002
Posts: 807
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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Dear asswipe,
You can't patent names. Otherwise, I will now sue every other James in existence for patent infringement. If I have missed the funny, please add <joke> tags </sarcasm>  
Love, Alpha
_________________
"They told me, ‘You’re a pirate!’ I said, ‘C’mon, guys, pirates are all at sea. I just work in a parking lot.’ "
So Lonestar, now you see why evil will always triumph because good is dumb! |
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Thundar
Insert Custom Title Here
Commodore
Joined: 25 Jan 2002
Posts: 4525
Location: Fugue Plane, South Side
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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*giggle*
_________________
In theory, practice and theory are the same. In practice, they are not.
| MasterOfTheHat wrote: |
Well, if you'd quit sacrificing the virgins and screwing the livestock, you wouldn't be in such a predicament!
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if you are wondering what smam is, just stick around, it is more a sort of zen than something that a mere definition with mortal words cannot comprehend. You will get the picture of what smam is in short order. It will change your life! -Smamta Clause
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Magus
Tolkien Loremaster
Vice Admiral
Joined: 17 Aug 2001
Posts: 9521
Location: On the Stairway to Heaven.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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Dear God, my sides! The pain from the laughter!
_________________
<Paolo|Work> anything that has to do with Java is by definition stupid
1 The Network is my domain, I shall not want; 2 though it makes me wait upon collision, it leads me to the Internet; 3 it restores my connection. It leads me in paths of hypertext transfer for google's sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of power failures, I fear no data corruption; for backups art with me; thy UPS and thy status light, they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a firewall before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointest my CD-R with BurnProof, my buffer never underflows. 6 Surely good deals and pr0n shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Datacenter for ever.
-HitScan
Wilde is a 4' chinese man in a bright pink tutu, lime green pimp hat with peacock feathers, and a purple feather boa, wearing tissue stuffed snakeskin combat boots, holding a gun bigger than he is, smoking a cigarette in the parking garage, trying to look menacing while pouting and head banging to Godsmack I stand alone |
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AllYorBaseRBelong2Us
Infernal Smam Lord
Vice Admiral
Joined: 25 Feb 2001
Posts: 9707
Location: Gaurding the toenail clipper bag that holds you all!
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| Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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Another problem:
Even if he says he is who he is, how does one prove he didn't post whatever he posted?
smam!
_________________
This and other statistics can be culled from Jeremy Reimer's Personal Computer Market Share: 1975-2002, a very impressive piece of information gathering. The numbers tell some very interesting stories.
- http://lowendmac.com/musings/03/0131.html
Man, I need to get out more. You know smam is getting to you when you go to a canadian restaurant and start wondering about moose cock. -OscarWilde |
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